have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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