Don't you send me to vm
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
