My balls are so social today.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
