i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Even my vagina gasped.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
