Your dad touched me again.
i just google imaged poop.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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