Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
