We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
