Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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