He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
