what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
