Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
