the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Your tits are I can't wait for
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
