How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
