I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
