Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
its liver damage thursday
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
