I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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