is your mom at the bar?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
