It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
