respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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