i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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