Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
