My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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