then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
