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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
