his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
