It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
