this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
