He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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