Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
