operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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