Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
