My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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