I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
