she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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