8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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