I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
