I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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