take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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