she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
