Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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