Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
