If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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