I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
