Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
