We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
