I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
