I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
