Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
