she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
