my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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