so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
