The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
