ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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