That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
