Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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