some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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