It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
