Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
