I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
